Honouring Others
Receive one who is weak in the faith, but not to disputes over doubtful things.
(Romans 14:1, NKJV)
A few days ago, I observed two individuals look at the same thing and see it differently. While the message was one, the interpretation that each person had was different and this led to a heated conversation. In a workshop, the facilitators will draw a big figure number ‘6’ and ask the participants standing opposite each other to read what they see. One group will see the ‘6’ while the opposing team will see a number ‘9’. It is the same figure presented but depending on the side one views it from, they see differently. This is used to demonstrate how our individual perspectives influence what we see and how we understand a situation. Our experiences and expectations cloud our sight and understanding in a matter, and unless one is willing to step aside and see the opposing view, he will continue to believe that the others are wrong. This understanding can be applied in various human interactions which present misunderstandings and at times hurtful outcomes.
Our reference verse calls us to receive one another and not get into disputes over unnecessary matters. If we think that our position is correct, we often will want to convince the other person, forgetting that he too has a reason for his position. This chapter in Romans, talks of things like food which others consider holy while others think it unholy. From experience, we observe that what we eat is very much an issue of culture and socialization, what is eaten in some parts of the world might sound obnoxious to us yet it is relished as a delicacy by others. While this might seem a valid reason for a disagreement, it is again a matter of perspective. Paul in writing to the Romans quickly reminds us that we are not to judge another person, for to his Master, he stands or fails (Romans 14:4). The issue is not for us to judge, it is for the Master to handle and the verse ends up with an encouragement that the Master will make the other person stand.
As I reflected on this topic, I realized that there are times my experiences have led me to oppose something which from a different angle would be perfectly welcome. In such cases, I have been opposed to what is presented, not so much because it is wrong but because it triggers something in me. It is upon stepping back and checking why I am opposing the idea that I find, my perspective is influenced by my past which the other person might not even know about. Beloved, when we find our hearts conflicted about a decision which seems okay to others, it is important to check ourselves for any judgement against the matter that we have entertained. When we fail to do so, we push to influence others according to our desires. Question is, are our desires pure and holy or are they serving our selfish purposes? If our desires are selfish, then we will be wrong. Admittedly, there are issues which the bible is categorical about and for these there is no debate among all who are truly following the Lord Jesus. It is therefore important to do some soul-searching on the issues that bring conflicts in our interactions with others, all in an effort to ensure that we are not being judgemental in our decisions, actions and utterances. Thankfully, we are not left without help. God is interested in placing His desires in our hearts so that we work our His good pleasure (Philippians 2:13). The spirit of God in us helps us to desire what pleases God, taking away our sinful desires. When we individually seek to pursue the desire of God, there will be no difference in our perspectives on issues that truly matter. May we humbly take the position of accepting that it is not upon us to fight it out with others, we can let them be as the Lord leads them, after all, none of us is perfect, we are all on a journey of faith as led by the Holy Spirit of God.
Thoughts:
What issues of others faith do your struggle with?
How have you dealt with the conflicts when they arise?
What have you learnt concerning yourself in the conflicts?